Does This Make My Butt Look Big?

tumblr_mczmev6mUh1r5wtelo1_500There comes a moment, right before every first date, when you have an “I hate everything I own” freak out moment. You frantically dig through your closet trying to find something, anything that will instantly transform you. Something that will shout “I am a single GODDESS!” Men all over will stop and stare, crying babies will quiet, small woodland creatures will sit at your feet and other women will stand, tears shimmering in the corners of their eyes and applaud your genius..”How does she do it?” they’ll wonder. “And where did she get those fantastic boots?” If you are anything like me though, you have your freak out moment, start flinging tops, dresses, skirts, onto your bed..instantly rejecting every piece. A mountain is created..your poor dogs peek out at you from under skinny jeans and lacy tops. And then you see it…that white Calvin Klein dress you got on sale…the one that makes your waist look tiny and does amazing things for those crazy Italian curves you’ve got goin on..(thanks Grandma Josephine). It’s perfect. Just perfect.

It all started on a quiet, unassuming Thursday night. I was just settling down in my cozy little living room with a glass of wine and my big windows open to the pretty snow falling outside. Earlier in the day, I had been chatting with a guy I had met online (let’s call him Shawn) and sometime during my second glass, I got a text from him asking what I was doing that night. He too was drinking wine alone at home and figured why not meet up and enjoy a few glasses together? I took about a half a second to decide (mentally assessed the options in my closet) and figured why not? This would be my first date in almost 7 years. Shit. What am I going to wear? Of course! The DRESS! I threw on some makeup, covered my curls in a mist of hairspray (this made my dog Koda sneeze violently for at least 10 minutes..he doesn’t approve of hairspray) and put on the dress. Added some gold accessories, camel colored boots and took a last look in the mirror. Lily (my other furry baby) sat next to me and wagged her tail..I swear if dogs could talk, she was saying “Oh yeah..he’s a goner.” I pulled on my long teal coat, grabbed my purse and took a deep breath as I closed the front door. Here I go.

Ladies, (and gentlemen if you are out there) what is your “go to” first date outfit? You know, the one that makes you feel like a goddess (or god). Any tips for us newly single friends?


One thought on “Does This Make My Butt Look Big?

  1. Love reading about your experiences! And I have no idea what my date outfit go-to is as it’s been a few years since the single life. but I think it would be a cute dress with mile high heels. Lol
    please write more soon! Love you Julia

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