After a break-up of epic proportions, it is easy to have your confidence shaken. Therefore, it is crucial that you do something to help get that back..Now you don’t have to go all Bella Swan riding motorcyles and cliff diving so that you see your pasty pasty white vampire ex-bf. Not necessary, although..girl..if you wanna go cliff diving, you do it! And more power to you! 🙂 I will be waiting below with a towel and a shot cause if you don’t need it after that craziness then I sure as hell will.
That badass feeling can come from lots of different things. Here are some suggestions:
1. Try a new activity, (I’d like to take up paddleboarding)
2. Splurge on one thing that you’ve wanted for a really long time, but always put off buying (that was the responsible you talking..now that badass chick is taking over)
3. Purchase some sort of power tool, (you laugh, but this really works! I bought my own hot pink Black and Decker drill and I tell you what, knowing that I can fix..mostly..things that go wrong in my house, makes me feel powerful)
4. Get your hair done! Get highlights or whatever you need to brighten yourself up. (sometimes boosting your confidence about your outside helps make you feel stronger inside too!)
5. Sweat. Get out there..stop putting off the gym, or your dance class, or your running shoes, maybe even sign up for Zumba and don’t feel badly when those sassy old ladies can merengue better than you. Sweating is a way of purging your body of toxins and I’m no medical expert, but it is my experience that negative feelings effect your body almost as much as your heart and mind. Sweat out all that bad juju and you will start feeling like a million bucks!
6. Do something spontaneous! Take a last minute girls trip. Buy concert tickets to a band you’ve always wanted to see. Plant a vegetable garden. Take off for the weekend, all by yourself, just drive and see where you end up!
Disclaimer: Not all of these badass activities will end up the way you thought they were going to. Be ok with that. You have to realize, that however things happened were how they were supposed to happen. Learn a lesson and move on to the next thing!
I chose #6. It didn’t go quite like I had hoped, but I learned a lot about myself (and the Atlanta airport) in the process..
While perusing the dating site one day, I noticed a super attractive guy had viewed my profile. He had a great smile, was tall (what’s that she says in Fifty Shades of Gray? Oh yea..my “inner goddess” was doing backflips and jumping up and down like a small child. haha yay tall guys! and yea, I know that book is total crap..don’t judge me) and had what seemed like a really sweet and down-to-earth profile. Only one slight problem. He was 836 miles away in Niceville, FL. And yes, I just said Niceville. Well, he seemed awfully nice to me and I figured it couldn’t hurt to send him a little message to say hi and thank him for being attractive and tall. I was starting to doubt men like him existed on that site and he had restored my faith. I set up the message in a way that didn’t require a response and honestly, I didn’t think he would bother to since he was so far away. Imagine my surprise when he messaged me back! To keep a long story from becoming an exceptionally long story, I will try to skim through this part. His name was Jim and he was stationed down there and going to EOD school, which is short for Explosive Ordinance Disposal. Meaning, he was being trained to disarm bombs and landmines and other really scary things that go boom. He was married before and was going through the divorce process. From what I could tell, it seemed as though they got married too young and wanted different things as they got older. Unfortunately, that happens fairly often. I know several girls from college who are already on their second marriage. Anyway, we exchanged numbers and started texting immediately. I don’t think we stopped texting or talking on the phone for 48 hours straight and by the end of that weekend I was completely bowled over by how much I liked this guy. He said things that made my heart just swell. We’d send each other names of songs we heard that we thought the other one would like. He called me darlin’. He listened to me vent about my job..gave advice and encouragement, and we both couldn’t believe how strongly we were feeling about one another in such a short amount of time. Another week went by and those feelings grew and grew. Spring break was coming up and I had no plans. I was feeling this urgent need to get away..get out of town..I was/am still healing from my broken engagement, my kids were going crazy at school and I felt claustrophobic..trapped in my life. I had to do something to break the weight off of my chest and a change of scenery has the power to do just that. Jim and I were talking one night. Listen to this song, I told him..it was a cover of the Bob Dylan song, “You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go.” He texted back a sad face.
Me: What’s wrong? 😦
Jim: I just really want to see you and I don’t know when that’s going to be able to happen. I know that when I do get to wrap my arms around you, I am never going to want to let go.
Me: Well, it is my spring break next week. What if I came to see you?
Jim: Are you serious? You would do that?
Me: Yeah..I would 🙂
Jim: 🙂 🙂 🙂
And so it went..a flurry of things to do before my spontaneous Florida trip happened. I looked at flights, did some background research on him to satisfy my requirement that Jim not be a serial killer. I looked up hotel rooms, rental cars…had a plan B..and C and D in case anything went wrong. Told my friends where I was going, the address, his name and phone number and anything else I could think of that would help keep me safe. I knew in my mind that this was a big deal. That I was taking a risk. But there is a line from one of my favorite movies (Practical Magic – with Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman) where Nicole Kidman’s character goes, “What wouldn’t I do, for the right guy…” And that’s how I felt. That this guy could be it and it was worth it to take that leap of faith and see what came from it. At the very least, I would be in gorgeous sunny Florida for a week. He paid half of the cost for my flight and when I clicked the last button to confirm my purchase, I felt so happy and excited and nervous and hopeful. I also felt like a badass……